The Girl turned two not long ago, and it seems like it took exactly a millisecond thereafter for her to gaze upon her first Disney Princess product and utter an enthusiastic "Ooooohhh."
It was a moment that I knew was on its way, just like that moment when The Boy, at about the same age, picked up a stick and decided to pretend it was a gun. Somewhere in the higher-functioning parts of our primate brains is a synapse that kicks in and makes boys embrace gun play and girls long for tulle and tiaras.
Generally, I'm cool with this inclination on either side. What unnerves me is when it spills into generally violent behavior for boys and uncontrolled princess worship on the other.
The Mouse, always on the outlook for the next thing to bolster the brand, has in turn taken the marketing of its "princesses" (defined as any lead female in an animated feature - regardless of whether she was indeed royalty) to girls as young as mine.
Take, for instance, her Disney Princess Phone. It's a toy phone that features a borderline creepy female voice that addresses the kid as "little princess." Activities include calling the flower shop, candy shop, and finding numbers for said merchants.
This bugs me for several reasons. First, toys produced by a giant, multi-tentacled corporation don't need to encourage more consumerism, especially when it comes to little girls, who are going to be urged to consume just fine from plenty of other sources.
Second, I love my daughter, but I resent her being referred to as a "little princess." In my mind, any member of royalty is participating in an outdated, genetically suspect institution that created itself on the backs of billions of the less fortunate and couldn't be undone soon enough.
Third, the whole Disney concept of the princess seems to involve this: a completely downtrodden and oppressed girl/woman strives to get out of her bad spot and has success only after a "Prince Charming" comes to rescue her in some fashion after which they marry and live happily ever after - OR - a spunky, can-do girl/woman gets herself and her true love out of a bad spot, after which they marry and live happily ever after.
You might be able to guess my particular problem with both of these scenarios - they both end in the alleged "happily ever after" and in no way hint at some very adult realities of life and relationships. Those incl
ude (but aren't limited to) the potential for "Prince Charming" to be a complete tool and the fact that marriage doesn't automatically mean happily ever after.
As a guy, I know that some of the dudes who seem most perfect to some women are in fact the biggest phonies, scam artists, philanderers and ne'er to wells. As a married man, I understand that marriage can indeed bring a lifetime of happiness, but that it doesn't automatically begin at the moment the vows are completed.
So, dear daughter, I say to you, "Don't believe the princess hype." Instead, I will happily read to you your current favorite book and one I am happy to share with you as frequently as I can: "The Paper Bag Princess," in which Princess Elizabeth, upon saving snooty and unappreciative Prince Ronald from a dragon, declares, "You look like a prince, but you are a bum."
That's the way to tell 'em, sweetie.
It was a moment that I knew was on its way, just like that moment when The Boy, at about the same age, picked up a stick and decided to pretend it was a gun. Somewhere in the higher-functioning parts of our primate brains is a synapse that kicks in and makes boys embrace gun play and girls long for tulle and tiaras.
Generally, I'm cool with this inclination on either side. What unnerves me is when it spills into generally violent behavior for boys and uncontrolled princess worship on the other.
The Mouse, always on the outlook for the next thing to bolster the brand, has in turn taken the marketing of its "princesses" (defined as any lead female in an animated feature - regardless of whether she was indeed royalty) to girls as young as mine.
Take, for instance, her Disney Princess Phone. It's a toy phone that features a borderline creepy female voice that addresses the kid as "little princess." Activities include calling the flower shop, candy shop, and finding numbers for said merchants.
This bugs me for several reasons. First, toys produced by a giant, multi-tentacled corporation don't need to encourage more consumerism, especially when it comes to little girls, who are going to be urged to consume just fine from plenty of other sources.
Second, I love my daughter, but I resent her being referred to as a "little princess." In my mind, any member of royalty is participating in an outdated, genetically suspect institution that created itself on the backs of billions of the less fortunate and couldn't be undone soon enough.
Third, the whole Disney concept of the princess seems to involve this: a completely downtrodden and oppressed girl/woman strives to get out of her bad spot and has success only after a "Prince Charming" comes to rescue her in some fashion after which they marry and live happily ever after - OR - a spunky, can-do girl/woman gets herself and her true love out of a bad spot, after which they marry and live happily ever after.
You might be able to guess my particular problem with both of these scenarios - they both end in the alleged "happily ever after" and in no way hint at some very adult realities of life and relationships. Those incl
ude (but aren't limited to) the potential for "Prince Charming" to be a complete tool and the fact that marriage doesn't automatically mean happily ever after.As a guy, I know that some of the dudes who seem most perfect to some women are in fact the biggest phonies, scam artists, philanderers and ne'er to wells. As a married man, I understand that marriage can indeed bring a lifetime of happiness, but that it doesn't automatically begin at the moment the vows are completed.
So, dear daughter, I say to you, "Don't believe the princess hype." Instead, I will happily read to you your current favorite book and one I am happy to share with you as frequently as I can: "The Paper Bag Princess," in which Princess Elizabeth, upon saving snooty and unappreciative Prince Ronald from a dragon, declares, "You look like a prince, but you are a bum."
That's the way to tell 'em, sweetie.
