What Are You?

Like lots of people of a certain age, my maternal grandmother was always interested - perhaps a little too interested - in what people were.

As in, "What are you?" If you weren't immediately identifiable as of Anglo-Saxon or African descent, she wanted to know the details of your ethnic heritage. She spent much of her life as a substitute teacher, often at my elementary school, and I recall her once expending unusual effort explaining to me why one of our school's teachers - even though she had comparatively light skin - was black.

In retrospect, given the designations we've historically applied to people in this country, I suppose the teacher was indeed of African descent. But that moment, at such a young age, made me begin to wonder why those designations mattered so very much.

Eventually, I faced the same sorts of questions from fellow adults who seemed hyper-interested in ethnicity. Folks from predominantly Italian neighborhoods would take it for granted that I, with my ruddy cheeks and pale skin, was Irish.

My response was usually a good-natured version of, "Well, chances are someone was Irish way back there." If pushed, I'd note that I more closely identify myself with being Southern American, with an emphasis on the American. If pushed again, I'd note that any identification with the "old country" evaporated about 300 years ago with the first members of my family came ashore on this continent.

But it's Independence Day weekend, and at this time more than any, that we who share the blessings of the grand experiment wrought by our nation's founders should look at this nation as a delightful, coherent whole. Rather than looking back across borders or oceans to acknowledge where we came from, we should all take this time to relish where we are now and what our futures hold among these 50 states.

"Melting pot" has always been a nice term for what we have here in the United States, but that's always made me think more of fondue than national togetherness. Truly, we are more of a gumbo. The varied spices and ingredients we all bring from our various backgrounds and experiences combine to create a piquant stew, with portions retaining their original state but irrevocably influenced by the other ingredients.

As a dad, I always do my very best to not burden my children the ancestral hang-ups that could have been passed on to me. People are not designated by their appearance or ethnicity (perceived or otherwise). They are simply people, all deserving of equal respect and kindness. If you happen to find out details of someone's background, great. Share the same information with them, and you'll both have more insight into what makes you who you are.

This Fourth of July, I'll be reminding my kids that no matter what we look like, where we're from and how recently we arrived here, we are all Americans, striving to make our way through challenging times while remaining true to those we care for the most. We are children of the founders' dream that all are created equal. We strive to carry on and improve upon that dream every day through the way we carry ourselves and treat others.

That, if anyone asks, is what we are.