The Annals of Crappy Fatherhood - Rock 'n Roll Edition

Those of us old enough to remember Mackenzie Phillips on "One Day at a Time" have known for a long time that she was a long series of really bad messes. But in advance of her new tell-all book, she's revealing just how messed up her childhood really was.

Apparently her dad, John (one of the four founding members of the Mamas and the Papas), helped her along by administering her first mainline dose of cocaine, the story goes. It's pretty well known that John Phillips was into drugs in a substantial way, but then who among the rockers of the late 1960s wasn't?

The difference, I suppose, is that John felt the "freedom" he and his contemporaries were pursuing included providing minors with addictive mind-expanding chemicals. Apparently there were also a few illicit sexual encounters with various Rolling Stones thrown in there for good measure. Naturally, the adult (and for the most part unemployable Mackenzie) now seems to make most of her money off "One Day" syndication residuals and tell-all memoirs.

First, I have to say that parents putting their kids in the midst of their own bad behavior isn't necessarily a new thing. Plenty of parents still smoke around their kids, blowing toxins into the air for everyone to breathe.

Others insist on being the "cool" parents by providing their teens with beer and booze at locked-down sleepover parties that they feel are safer than letting the kids get lit without supervision.

So where's the line between filling the air with poison, handing your 17-year-old and his/her friends a beer (after confiscating the car keys first, mind you) and helping your kid mainline coke?

John Phillips died in 2001, so he's not here to defend himself. But I highly suspect that in his own mind, he might have been functioning as the self-described "cool" parent himself. Unfortunately all he did was create an ongoing car crash of a life.

To get all psychological about it, it's a pretty safe bet that drug use was inextricably linked in her mind with parental love, and whatever therapies or rehab treatments she pursued had to get past that single fact.

Parents who smoke, the message seems to be that wanton disregard for common courtesy, one's health and the health of others is not such a big deal. For the parents who think they're sending a message of safety by hosting drinking parties for their teens, they're instead telegraphing that binge drinking is so OK that even Mom and Dad endorse it. John Phillips - well, who the hell really knows what he was thinking. He may be in the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, but likely received no votes for such an honor as a dad.

As parents, we're going to make mistakes. But it seems to me that our job is to try as hard as we possibly can to ensure that the mistakes are just those - unavoidable errors unmarred by malice or sheer stupidity.

We have to make a conscious effort to ingrain the right ideals in our kids - encouraging them to make good decisions and avoid self-destructive behavior - rather than making it more convenient for them to do dumb stuff. They'll do dumb stuff all on their own, but without Mom and Dad helping them a long by setting lousy examples, maybe it won't be as dumb as it could be.